One of the ways that we motivate Kiera is by racing. We will race to see who can put their socks on the fastest. We have competitions to see who can brush their teeth the best. We have races to see who makes it to the front door first.
It’s possible that we might have created a little monster with our racing. She has a tiny competitive streak. Just a smidge… oh, all right. She is extremely competitive and we are working on losing a bit of the competitive edge.
Some mornings we will race to see who gets to their respective parking lot first. Now, before you flip out, we are not actually racing. There is no speeding, swerving around cars or drifting around corners. Aaron and I will leave the house at the same time and Kiera will call Aaron once we leave the house. She then keeps tabs on him to see if he gets to work before I get her to school. Usually, Kiera and I are the ones celebrating our victory when I park the car in the school parking lot.
This weekend, we were playing a Scooby-Doo game on the Wii. It’s Scooby-Doo. Not a racing game where the first person with all the coins wins. It was a joint player game. After about fifteen minutes of playing, we had to take the controls away from her until she was able to play with us and not against us.I know this will come as a shock to some parents, but it wasn’t as simple as I make it sound. It wasn’t one of those conversations that went like this:
Me: Kiera, honey, we are playing as a group. We’re trying to work together as a team. You don’t have to be in the front the whole time either. Okay, sweetie?
Kiera: Oh. Thank you for explaining the game, Mommy. I’m sorry. I will try to give each of you a turn to get Scooby-Doo snacks and we can take turns leading through the game. I love you, Mommy. You’re the best.
Doesn’t that sound like a great conversation? Simple and straight to the point… Well, that’s not how it went.
“Kiera! Honey! Stop and wait for us to catch up please,” I said for the 30th time as her character ran across the screen.
“I want to be in front though!” she argued back. “Aww! I didn’t get that Scooby snack!”
“Honey, you have 355 Scooby snacks to our 118,” Aaron explained. “We have to play together.”
“Fine!” she said as she slid out of her chair. She placed the Wii controller in her seat, crossed her arms, stuck her lip out and went to her room.
After a few minutes of pouting in her room, she returned ready to play as a team.
It’s hard being five.
While she is competitive, she is still compassionate. We have played board games and she will offer to let us go again if we did not get the card or spin that would be best for us.
Saturday night, we went to a local restaurant for dinner. As we headed out to the car, Kiera said, “First one in the car is the winner!”
I had opened the car door and missed what she said. I climbed in the seat as Aaron helped Kiera into her seat.
“Oh! Mommy is the winner!” Aaron exclaimed as he buckled her seat belt. I inwardly cringed waiting to see what her reaction would be.
“It’s ok. Mommy is on my team! We win!” Kiera said excitedly, tossing her hands in the air.
“Ah, man. I never win!” Aaron jokingly complained. “You and Mommy are always the winners. I can’t win against the two of you, when I’m on a team by myself.”
He grinned at Kiera and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. Before he could kiss her, she patted him on the shoulder and said, “No, you’re not, Daddy! You are not alone. Remember, God is always with you.”
How can you not melt at that wisdom?
Wish us luck as we continue to work as parents teaching playing fair, not cheating, and how to be a gracious winner and loser.
