Written by Ben Cox – With recent news of sexual abuse allegations by a local pastor, as well as a large number of national stories of this type, it is time to take a moment to consider what can be done to help the victims of this type of abuse. To help them heal, and come forward.
When abuse happens, it is scary for the victim to talk about. They may have been told that no one will believe them, or that they will get into trouble for telling.
Often children begin to share what has happened to them using hints and subtle comments that can be hard to pick up on. The US Department of Justice says “Children might imply something has happened to them without directly stating they were sexually abused—they may be testing the reaction to their “hint.” Open dialogue with children is one way to make discussing hard to talk about subjects easier.”
According to the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network, or RAINN, one of the first things to tell a child who has made an allegation is that they are believed, and recognize the courage it took to open up about the abuse. “It can be extremely difficult for survivors to come forward and share their story. They may feel ashamed, concerned that they won’t be believed, or worried they’ll be blamed.”
Another equally crucial step in responding to a child’s tale is assuring them that no part of what happened was brought on by their actions. “Survivors may blame themselves, especially if they know the perpetrator personally. Remind the survivor, maybe even more than once, that they are not to blame.”
When the alleged abuser turns out to be someone in a position of authority it can be especially difficult to accept. It can be intimidating for people to come forward when they feel betrayed by someone they should be able to turn to in times of need. Scotty Crawford, senior pastor of Brownwood Community Church, says “we put pastors, as well as other people, in a special category and we shouldn’t do that. They should be dealt with as any other person would be.”
After things like this, many people ask why God would allow such a thing to happen. Crawford says “If you can answer that then you can win the whole world for Jesus without a fight. It’s not that simple. We live in a broken world. We have to live in that brokenness while trying to be part of overcoming evil with goodness. God is working through His people to make it a better world, and He’s not done with it. It is people who made this a broken place, and it is people who will restore it.”
Assistant Chief of Behavioral Health for Center for Life Resources in Brownwood Jonathan Harvey says “It is extremely important for a child who has experienced any form of sexual abuse to have a supportive parent or individual they can reach out to. Sure, the information shared by the child may be difficult to hear or process at the time, but it is so vitally important that the support person listen to understand, rather than listen to respond.”
It can be easy for the person hearing the story to want to know more, so they can tell police, but it is best to leave that to investigators. Tammy Westerman, a Licensed Professional Counselor with Center for Life Resources says that can be difficult for those in whom the child choses to confide. “This is a challenge for some parents, as some want to avoid discussion for fear of bringing up the painful experience, and others want to ask all sorts of questions and put pressure on the individual to share.”
When children do report abuses, it is typically to their friends or their mother, according to the DoJ. Teachers are the most likely professionals to be told. When things like this are shared by children, or anyone for that matter, it is important that the authorities be notified right away.
The Department of Justice says that only 30% of sexual assaults are reported. On average, one in six boys and one of every four girls are sexually abused by the age of 18. The National Sexual Assault Hotline, which is operated by RAINN, is 800-565-HOPE (4673) and is also available online at online.rainn.org.
To contact the Brownwood Police Department or the Brown County Sheriff’s Office to report suspected abuse, call: 325-646-2525
The ARK Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Shelter has a 24 Hour Crisis Line: Local: 325-643-2699, or 1-888-313-2699
Or you can call the Texas Abuse Hotline at 1-800-252-5400