I know you are just waiting to see the punch line that follows that title. I’m right aren’t I? See? Teachers are psychic. We have eyes in the backs of our heads. We know everything. We can solve any problem. We can make things move by just looking at them. You doubt me? Well, allow me to offer my evidence.
Every time I collect papers to be graded, I will invariably find several with no name. Why? Well, obviously the students are counting on the psychic ability we teachers are renowned for! I can just look at a paper and KNOW who it belongs to! The fact that we can use the process of elimination, or that it is usually the same ones over and over again is irrelevant.
We have eyes in the back of our heads. This explains how we know which kid threw the paper airplane, or which kid was running in the hall without looking. We are also able to determine, with eyes closed, who made the face or rolled their eyes. Again, any prior experience with these kids is irrelevant…the fact is, we just KNOW.
We know everything. I have decided this must be true because I am asked questions ranging from “Mrs. Moore, why did the author write this book?” to questions such as “Mrs. Moore, what are we going to eat for lunch on the last day of school?” I am asked where other teachers are, where their books are (I suggest looking in the black hole –er – backpack), and where they dropped their pencil. Because I know everything, I can answer these questions. For instance:
“Mrs. Moore, where is Mrs. Beelby?”
“Well, I am pretty sure she is in the building.”
See? We have all the answers.
Same thing with problem solving – we teachers can come up with a solution for anything.
“Mrs. Moore, my pencil broke.”
“Wow. Looks like you are right.”
The student just stands there, looking at me. So I offer my words of wisdom.
“Guess you better sharpen it, huh?”
Again – proof positive that teachers are talented people. We can make things move with a look. Specifically, we can make kids move with a look.
“You need to move to a different seat now.”
“Right now?” (glancing around at other students, snickering)
I give him THE LOOK.
He moves.
See? Simple.
I could tell you that teachers can do these things because of experience. I could tell you teachers can do these things because of the relationships developed over time with the students. I could tell you that sometimes it is just educated guesswork.
But I won’t. Let’s keep the illusion….keep the kids guessing. You won’t tell, will you?
I knew you would say that!
Christine Moore currently holds a degree from Howard Payne University and is actively working toward a master’s degree in curriculum and instruction. Married with four children, Christine teaches 6th grade reading in Brownwood and has been working in education at various levels for the past 14 years. Her husband, Jeremy, owns a local company that specializes in web design, custom computer builds, and on-location repair called DreamSoft Design at www.dreamsoftdesign.com. Christine welcomes your questions and comments and would love to hear from you!
