A wise man once said that it is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.
As someone who previously made a living by speaking, and I guess I still do as I teach classes now, I know all too well that it is very easy to ignore this simple yet invaluable lesson. We do so all the time, though, don’t we?
How many times have I flown off the handle at my own daughter, for something that ultimately was much ado about nothing? I didn’t take the time to gather the facts, form an informed opinion of certain things, and then confront the situation.
Instead, and she will gladly verify this I am sure, I raised my voice, accused her of wrong doing, and made her upset, and myself even more angry on top of being ashamed once I realized the entire issue was misconstrued.
I’m sure that there are fathers reading this and commiserating with me right now. It really hurts when you fall short of the mark that you set for yourself. We all want to be the model father from the romantic comedies, even if we don’t admit it. You know, the stern dad, when appropriate, but the loving dad every other time, who wears the dad jeans but makes them look good?
And we really get that wrong, don’t we guys? It’s a goal, and we try and try to get there, but it seems like we are always falling short. (OK, maybe it’s just me and all you fellas out there are perfect!)The good thing, though, is family is full of grace. Family can be bent out of shape, and when given enough time, can get right back to where they were. (Now, I know that’s not EVERY case, and if yours is the exception to the rule, I am sorry. Family hurts are the worst.)
So, how does the open mouth = fool equation play into this?
Simple. As fathers, we need to be the go-to for our children, and wives or significant others. We are their rock. Their safe, hard place, that ‘everything is going to be ok” guy to whom they can tell their problems.
But, we think that we also have to be the rule enforcer, the tough as nails drill sergeant we have seen on TV, and that both of those things cannot coexist in the same person.
WRONG.
I know that I need some work in the “approachable dad” arena at times, and that I need to tone down the “Butt chewing” dad side as well.
I just hope she knows that it’s all for her, to make her a better “her”, and that eventually she will realize these things.
I think so, she said that she was able to answer a test question in reading because of all the grammar errors I call her on.
To quote Bill Murray, “So, I’ve got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”
Ben Cox is a man of many parts. A frequent fixture of the Lyric Theater stage, the in stadium voice of the Howard Payne Yellow Jackets, educator, mobile DJ, drummer, father, boyfriend, avid TV watcher, and has been known to be a teller of Dad-jokes.
