Today is the first day of “Freedom From Bullies Week”. Bullies have been in the national spotlight quite a bit lately, but have been around long enough that they’re in the Bible. Joseph’s brothers? Bullies. Pharoah? Bully. It just shows that it has always been an issue, and will continue to be so.
What is a bully? The definition of a bully is “a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker”. That can mean so many different things, to many different people.
I was bullied as a child. My daughter, bless her heart, found it difficult to believe! Gotta admit, that made me feel pretty good! But I was. It hurt, both physically and mentally. The physical part, at least for me, healed with no lasting affects. The mental side however, lasted for some time. Self confidence has always been an issue for me, regardless of success or praise, I find it hard to believe that I was “good enough” to be worthy of such lauding. It has gotten progressively better as I get further from it, but there is still that little kid in my head that will always doubt. I can’t totally shake him.
That being said, I know a lot about what it means to be bullied. If you’ve never been bullied, good for you. Now ask yourself, were YOU ever a bully? It’s easy to do, if you’re not aware of how you act towards people. I have done it, and then subsequently realized it, and gone and made amends with that person whenever possible.
The most well intentioned person, with nothing but a good motive in their heart can come across as a bully. If you try to force someone to believe what you do, feel something you do, act like you do, you my friend have become a bully. Be aware of what you are doing and saying to people, and see/hear it from their point of view. Listen to your words as though they were directed to you, and try to imagine how you would react if those things were pointed your direction. If it makes you angry, or hurt, etc, you’ve got some apologizing to do.
Bullying has taken a new form lately, the cyber-bully. That is someone who sits at their computer, or uses their laptop/tablet/phone/whatever to belittle someone online. Kids are online so much that their online presence is like a digital extension of themselves, and an insult online hurts more than a verbal one, because it gets read by more people than would have been around to hear it on the playground. There’s a copy, preserved for all to see, on their Facebook wall, or Twitter account, and they can’t take it down fast enough. There are cases of people being bullied online to the point of suicide.
It’s not just kids either. Adults can be bullied, too.
It’s hard to tell who has and hasn’t been bullied in their past, but I can tell you this, the number is much bigger than you’d imagine.
So how does one get around this problem? It is different for every person who deals with a bully. I simply took the abuse, and told myself that they were probably in a bad situation at home or wherever and were taking it out on me. I learned the art of the comeback, and was able to get out of a few scrapes with a well placed word. Of course, there were times when that made the situation worse, too!
I guess what I’m trying to say here, is that while we know bullying is wrong, there is no “one way” to make it stop. It varies from bully to bully. But we can take steps to try and curb the behavior. School have done a remarkable job of shining a light on bullying in recent years, and I applaud those school administrators who have taken steps to not only stop bullying when it happens, but prevent it by talking to those kids who do the bullying and working out the issues they are dealing with that bring about this type of behavior.
If you are being bullied, if you know someone who is, there is one thing that you CAN do to help the situation: talk. Talk to a parent, your schools counselor, a teacher, someone in a leadership position at church. Whoever you feel comfortable with, talk to them and ask for help.
You are not alone in this. I promise.
Ben Cox is the morning show host of “Ben Cox in the Morning” on KQBZ, 96.9 FM in Brownwood Texas. He is the new in-stadium voice of the Howard Payne Yellow Jackets football team, & Ben is also an event DJ for weddings, parties and the like.
The thoughts and comments reflected in this column are those of the writer alone, and do not necessarily reflect those of Wendlee Broadcasting, or its affiliates.
