Life According to Kiera: A Word From Dad

Today, we are going to do something a little different. Today, you are going to hear from Aaron. But, before you do, let me just brag on my husband a bit. Actually, after you read his story, I probably need to brag on him a lot.

Aaron is an amazing dad. He does a lot for our little family and never hesitates to play with Kiera; even if he gets tricked into a challenge like you are fixing to read about. So, without further ado, I present Aaron’s story.

Forgive me for intruding but I feel like I need to share my side of the story. I’ll start by saying this…I was thrown under the bus from the beginning… partly because of my own ignorance and partly because I may be a little to eager to please my darling, little angel.

It all began innocently enough. “I have to run a few errands. While I do that Kiera wants to play a game with you.” Ro stated.

Kiera took it from there and began to explain just what it was I was in for. It was an epic event called “The Smoothie Challenge.” Imagine I said that in my best radio announcer voice.

She laid out the rules or rule, I should say, since the only rule was that no matter what is in it you have to drink it.  Now in my defense, there was a smirk on her face that made me believe the “challenge” was to scare your opponent and make them chicken out, thereby winning the challenge.

And so it began. Kiera had a small paper sack to which she would add some ingredients. She would also pretend to add some ingredients all the while teasing me not to peek.

Honestly I didn’t peek so her smoothie recipe genuinely surprised me. Before I share her fabulous recipe, let me share mine.

I played it safe by starting with a banana… Then I added some strawberries and blueberries. Just to mess with Kiera, I pretended to add hot sauce, pepper and other funny things that don’t belong in a smoothie. I then added a splash of orange juice with a dash of heavy cream. I don’t know why I added that, it just seemed right at the time.

I wrapped it up with a couple of normal ingredients that I can’t really remember now. I pretended to add a couple of final ingredients to surely strike fear of a tummy ache into my young princess.

Pulling out the blender, I said, “Let’s get this challenge started!”

“No matter what, you have to drink it.” Kiera reminded me.

It was at that very statement I had a moment of clarity and realized I was in trouble.

She started giggling as she reached for the bag of ingredients she had picked for me. At first, her laugh was cute and innocent. It changed as she dumped the bag of ingredients out.

I almost vomited in my mouth at the sight of the ingredients.

Let me tell you what they were so you can create this little smoothie from heaven in your own home. First, there was a bag of baby carrots. I like carrot juice, so I was fine with this. Next, there were a couple of blueberries and a cup of mandarin oranges in water. Not my favorite but I can manage this. After all I’m a grown man and I made my little princess a promise.

Then I started moving things around and getting down to the smaller items. There was a single, small, not so fresh, chocolate donut. You know the ones from the convenient store? There was also a fresh clove of garlic and shredded cheese.

The best part was when I added my own ingredient. As I tried to blend this death sauce… I mean… delicacy; the carrots wouldn’t blend so I shoved a wooden spatula in the top of the blender. You guessed it. I added a touch of wooden spatula to my amazing drink.

Once blended, it came out looking like it had already been in a digestive track. It was then that I stopped and looked at my little angel and saw her look of pure contentment. She had beaten me, she knew her smoothie was going to be bad just from the smell and I had to drink it.

She knew she had won just as much as I knew I had lost. Without hesitation, she drank the smoothie I had made for her. I drank mine because I had said that I would.

Kiera wouldn’t taste mine but she did want to know what a bad smoothie tasted like. As I attempted to get my garbage disposal to eat the poison… I mean liquid gold she had made me, I took what was left of her smoothie and added some less than desirable ingredients so she could share in the nausea… No… I mean, fun.

P.S. Just so you know, Aaron didn’t get sick from Kiera’s amazing smoothie recipe, although I think he is going to avoid smoothie challenges for a bit.