Life According to Kiera: The Colicky, Tangle-Haired Pink Brawler

Written by Rowonna McNeely – When I was pregnant with Kiera, I used to daydream about what she would be like as a baby.  I imagined tucking her in her crib as she peacefully slept. I would cover her tiny body with her pink and brown bedding that matched her newly painted nursery.

After tucking her in, I would gently pat her and then blow her a kiss before walking out of the room. In those daydreams, I imagined she would wake in the morning, maybe cry a little, but her tears would instantly dry at the sound of my voice.  She was going to be a perfect angel…

Then she arrived. Oh, don’t get me wrong. She is my angel. I love her to pieces. But, boy, did she manage to bust through any misconceptions I might have had. I don’t think she slept in her crib until she was close to a year old and it wasn’t just because she had colic.

She slept in the bassinet in our room for several months effectively destroying any dreams I had of her sleeping in her perfectly prepared nursery. Basically, we used the closet in the nursery for her clothes and the changing table that I just knew I had to have became a storage area for diapers and wipes.

Nights at our house usually involved Aaron and I eating dinner, then as bedtime neared for Kiera, we would buckle her into her carseat, climb into the car and began our hours long journeys around the lake area until she fell into a solid sleep.

And when I say a solid sleep, I am not kidding. If we turned the car light on and there was a flicker of an eye, we would drive a few more blocks. We learned that the hard way after pulling into the driveway, opening the door only to be greeted with a ear-splitting cry one too many times.

Then there is the illusion that Aaron had of cuddling up with his sweet princess. He often thought as she grew that she would climb into his lap while watching a movie or just to cuddle. That illusion was swiftly destroyed by our four-foot, 60-pound princess that turns into The Pink Brawler anytime her Daddy lies in the floor.

It’s actually quite entertaining to watch. Of course, it wasn’t my dream this time so I can laugh.

Kiera might be playing with her babies in the other room when Aaron lies in the floor. It’s like she has a sense about it. As soon as he is down, she transforms into The Pink Brawler and drops an elbow in her Daddy’s stomach.

It’s usually at this point that I gather up their eyeglasses to avoid any mishaps and the wrestling commences. Usually, after the first elbow in the stomach, she pushes herself off the floor, goes across the room where she then launches herself at Aaron to land on his body amidst his groans.

When Kiera was younger, I used to imagine her sitting in my lap before bedtime and I would gently brush her hair. As I brushed her hair until it shone, she would tell me about her day. I imagined it would be a special time for us.

I saw a meme a few days ago that pretty much sums up the reality of that daydream. It reads: “I always imagined that brushing my daughter’s hair would be a sweet moment of bonding, but instead it sounds like someone is performing an exorcism.”

Brushing Kiera’s hair in the morning requires that I have had at least one cup of coffee, a bottle of detangler, a bottle of water, a special hairbrush, the tablet for distraction and loads of patience for this Mommy.  The only time that brushing her hair is relaxing is after she has showered with the amazing, magic conditioner. Sadly, during the middle of the night, the magic conditioner’s power succumbs to the tangles that appear during sleep.

Even though several of our illusions have gone by the way side, we love our crazy, sweet princess/wrestler. We’ve made great memories over the years. For a while, Aaron and I knew all the backroads around the lake like the back of our hand.

Then there is the giggle that I love to hear from Kiera as she wrestles her Dad on the floor. The times that brushing Kiera’s hair becomes stressful, I think about how her Daddy will do something silly to take her mind off the tangles and make us both laugh. I honestly hope she continues to shatter misconceptions… as long as it’s in a good way.