I’m A Big Girl… Can You Help Me?

Written by Rowonna McNeely – Life is interesting with a child. With each year, you face a different phase as that child continues to grow and learn about the environment around them.  It’s not a bad kind of phase… just an intriguing sort of phase.

Currently, the phase we are going through is Kiera learning her independence. She wants to be a big girl but sometimes, she doesn’t. Our goal as her parents is to try to determine exactly when she wants to be a big girl and not step on her independence but know when to wrap her in our arms like the little girl she still is.

Some days, I imagine it is close to what it feels like walking through a minefield. That’s probably a little dramatic, but you get my drift.

My favorite example of this happened just a few days ago. I was getting Kiera ready for school. She was sitting at the vanity while I finished fixing her hair. I gave her hair one last brush, before I said, “Ok, honey. It’s time to go brush your teeth.”

Have you ever seen a sloth move? That’s what it is like getting Kiera to hurry, as we get ready to leave every morning.

I picked up her hand to pull her out of the chair. “Honey. We have to hurry. You need to go brush your teeth.”

Sliding out of the chair, she stumbled to her feet. Slightly tired and grumpy, she responded, “I know, Mom!”

I refrained from rolling my eyes and reached to hug her. That is when I stepped into the minefield.

Whirling around, Kiera leaned against the bed and with frustration evident in every word she said, “Mommy. You follow me to get my backpack at daycare. And you follow me to get in the car. And you don’t need to!” She finished with a huff.

“Baby, I was only going to hug you.” I stated, trying to decide if I should hug her or shove her towards the bathroom.

“Ok.” She huffed again. “But you don’t have to follow me all the time. I am big.”

I watched as she walked to the bathroom and thought about what she said. I do follow her every day to her cubby where her backpack is stored. I want to make sure that she doesn’t forget anything. I also follow her around to the side of the car to make sure she can get in.

As I thought about what she said, I realized that I do baby her a little too much. I need to let her get her backpack and not check up on her. I need for her to handle the responsibility of making sure she gets everything in her cubby.

Oh, I’ll still follow her to her side of the car; I’ll just let her have a little more independence when it comes to closing the door.

Taking a deep breath, I promised myself that I would do better and let my little girl grow up some, no matter how hard it would be.

I grabbed my cell phone off the bed and headed to the kitchen to get my purse. As I passed by the bathroom door, Kiera yelled, “Mommy!”

I turned and opened the door. “What is it, baby?” I asked.

She held her toothbrush out to me and asked, “Can you help me put my toothpaste on?”

Smiling to myself, I squeezed the toothpaste on and left her to brush her teeth. For the moment, I had cleared the minefield. My big/little girl still needed me.

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