Hey John: Help Me Obi Wan Kenobi

Ok  y’all, let’s have a little talk here. I could make an additional career criticizing a millionaire “advice” columnist. Out of fairness, most issues she writes about are pretty lightweight, and she does ok. But the reality is, if your opinion is important to someone and carries some credibility, you are obligated to not let your own bias’ or personal preferences color your advice. More directly, you need to not be a knucklehead and screw somebody up. “For instance?” you might ask? Well folks, this is Crabigail’s column from August, 2018. Excuse the paraphrasing, but I’ll try to be accurate. Go ahead, sit down. Don’t read this while you’re driving.

Dear Ms. Crabby,

I’ve been married to my husband for 28 years. My (female) friend has been married for 30. Recently she gave me a soft kiss on the neck. I didn’t respond, but I can’t stop thinking about her. Can two straight women jump ship and fall in love with each other? Oh, Obi Wan, please help me. Tell me what to do.

Kissee

[Crabby’s abbreviated  response]

Dear Ms Kissee,

Yes, people of the same sex can fall for each other. I can’t tell you what to do. “Much will depend on what she has to say…..”

[Sound of brakes slamming on: screeeeech!]. WHAT did you just say? Is that some mutated misprint? Ok Crabs, for the sake of equality, let’s change the genders around. “My film director came over and gave me a sloppy kiss on the neck. He knows how long I’ve been married. Is it ok for me to fall in love with him? Crabby, does he seem like a good guy to you? Should I leave my husband and kids for him? I sure could use your most important guidance. Do you think “much will depend upon what he has to say”?

So Jeannie, aka Dear Crabby Jr., at least consider this:

Dear Kissee,

At what point do we surrender to temptation? What did you teach your kids about using drugs? What about early sexual activity? Did you try to instill principles to help them make conscientious decisions? Was it something like, “son, if a meth pipe appears at a party, you’re going to be faced with a decision. Should you just turn and leave?  Should you use because other people are? Or use because you are tempted? We all face some tough decisions in our lives. I hope you make decisions that are consistent with your beliefs.”

Or something like that.

It seems like when Crabby addresses  Kissee’s same-sex question, perhaps she thinks that taking a position might be viewed as anti-same sex. So instead you advise her to wait until hot lips makes a decision about her? Most people make more competent decisions when they make them their selves.

You might want to also suggest that she have a little “needs love” discussion with husband of 28 years. She doesn’t have to bust hot lips, just have a loving talk with her husband. I’d hate to think that after 28 years, my wife and I couldn’t have meaningful discussions with each other. If she wants to jump the fence with neckkisser, she’s got lots of time to do it. Let’s try some problem solving first.

Crabby, What’sAMattaU?