“Hey John” Advice Column: Knucklehead Parents at Easter Egg Hunt

Hey John,

This past weekend I took my two girls to a local park for the annual Easter egg hunt. It was pretty well organized and quite crowded. It was divided into age groups to make it more fun for the kids. Both of my girls found a bunch of eggs full of candy, and they had a good time. The problem was with me. I was really bummed out by the behavior of some of the parents. Some of the mothers were screaming orders out to their little kids in order that they could find more eggs. One mother was yelling, “Billy! BILLY! Turn to your left! NO!! YOUR LEFT!! Oh for God’s sake”. Another mother admonished her six year old, “is that all the candy you got?!” 

My question is, should I tell these parents to be joyful for their kids, or me be quiet, or simply not take my kids back?

Easter Blues

Dear Bluey,

It is unfortunately a reality that some of these parents belong in cages, not in public places. Doing “free counseling” with knuckleheaded parents can be helpful, but can also result in angry, inappropriate responses. The real question is: did your kids enjoy themselves? If they were blissfully unaware of the tightly wound noisy parents, and were pleased with participating in the event, it would seem that future participation may be good for them. Personally, I would go down to the local hardware store and buy a pair of those squishy little earplugs. As the event begins, put them in and try to focus on your children. You can unplug yourself just as the event is ending. I hope your Easter was joyful.

Hey John,

We have been happily married for sixteen years. The problem is that my wife has started snoring. When I tell her she was really sawin’ logs the night before, it makes her sad. So I don’t see the sense in even commenting about it. Still, it’s getting harder to get a full night’s sleep. I really don’t want to sleep in separate rooms if I don’t have to. Any other options?

Sleepy

Dear Sleepy,

Sleep studies have become the norm, starting with the baby boomers, and heading down to the next generations. Plenty of big-time snoring may be a result of various degrees of sleep apnea. The result is an oxygen-deprived sleep, with many bad consequences, including snoring. That doesn’t mean of course that snoring is sleep apnea, but it could be. Sleep studies are common, though a bit expensive. You might do some research into various clinics, and have them run your insurance card to see how much money it will cost. If you either do not have insurance, or like many Americans, have worthless, blood-sucking insurance, see if you can negotiate a private pay deal. If none of above works, refer to the letter above and try some squishy little ear plugs. I’d make separate rooms my absolute last option.