Hey John,
I am a high school senior. I have not dated much in the previous years because I have always had so much to do for school. “Robert” and I starting dating just before the summer of last year. He was my first real boyfriend. We have spent a lot of time with each other. We got pretty physical with each other at the end, but no sex. I have had a problem with depression since middle school. Even with medication, sometimes I get really down. I’ve never been suicidal or anything, but everyone can tell when I’m depressed. When I would get real down, I would confide in him all my sadness. We were together eight months. He texted me last week that he was breaking up with me. He didn’t tell me why, but maybe it was because I told him how sad I was. Now I’m really sad, and I don’t know what to do. Any advice?
Broken Hearted Betty
Dear Betts,
First of all (and perhaps least importantly), I hope the next boyfriend isn’t such a featherweight that he’d TEXT you to break up. Sheesh. I hope he begins some testosterone therapy as soon as possible.
Presuming the depression diagnosis was correct, there are so many anti-depressants it’s almost beyond comprehension. Many prescribing doctors are family doctors and not psychiatrists. Although there are many very knowledgeable family practitioners, adolescent anti-depressants are a highly selective sub-group of medications. If you can find a well respected psychiatrist (hereby referred to as a shrink), even out of town, it might be worth your while. At least do a reasonably energetic web search for various anti depressants and ask your doc. If you get a bad regular doc or a shrink, keep looking. There are lots of good physicians.
Lastly, deep relationships are for real. Nevertheless, the reality is, is that it’s a rare day our first serious relationship will be the permanent one. Be sad- you should be. Do know however, we usually eventually recover from sad events. Take a deep breath, have some fun with friends, get re-invested with your dedication to school. Find a good counselor if you need additional assistance.
And remember, never fold a relationship with a stinkin’ text message. Sheesh, what a schmuck.
John Sommer
Therapist in Brownwood
John Sommer has been a therapist since 1977 and has been providing counseling services at his Brownwood facility since 1987. John specializes in assisting clients with a wide range problem areas such as child and adult issues, family, social and emotional issues in juveniles, relationships, and depression. He also works with non-problem areas including prenuptial counseling, marriage enhancement and assertive training. To submit questions for “Hey John” please email: JohnSommerCounseling@gmail.com
