Well, here it is. This is the time of year when students all across the state sit down to the annual dose of TAKS testing. Beginning in third grade students will sit facing multiple choice tests the state and district will use to determine what a child has learned and what a teacher has taught. I have a few thoughts about that. However, that is not what I want to write about. I want to share with you an epiphany I had today when the test was discussed in one of my classes.
All year teachers and students work. We read, learn math, study science and history. We also know the test is coming and that this test determines the course of a child’s summer and even the next school year. Administrators know this test is one factor used to determine the amount of funding we get. Our scores are posted for the entire world to see as a ruler to measure a school’s effectiveness. For kids passing simply means no summer school. For teachers it is even more.
Teachers pour a lot of love, sweat, and tears into every school year. In a conversation we have to distinguish between “our” kids and our “school” kids. They are ours – we love them, we worry about them, we cheer for them, we cry with them. We know what they CAN do. We also know this test does not always show that. So…we worry.
One of my colleagues is worrying over the math TAKS which takes place on Tuesday. This is her first year to teach math in a while, and her first year to have to worry about the TAKS test. When I was trying to explain the fact that she was feeling a bit stressed, one student looked up at me in surprise and said, “Why? We are on our own now.” I admit this statement took me by surprise, but it was the beginning of an epiphany for me. Before I could really form an answer for this student, he answered himself, “OH, I know. It’s because she cares about us.”
Yep. That is it. We worry because it is time for us to let go. We can’t help anymore with this particular task. We’ve taught it, we’ve lectured it, we’ve demonstrated it, and we’ve reviewed it. Now that the day is upon us we ask ourselves, “Was it enough? Did I do everything I could do to help them learn what they need to know? What more could I have done?” We put all our faith in our kids and trust that we’ve done all we can. We trust that they will know how to use the knowledge gained. We trust that they will come through with flying colors so that everyone will see what we do: wonderful, intelligent, amazing kids.
My reading TAKS is on Wednesday and I find myself feeling the same type of worry as my colleagues and asking those same questions. Now, though, I can remember my student telling me, “We are on our own now.” It’s a scary place to be…but it is what we want for our kids. We look forward to this day with both joy and sadness.
Christine Moore currently holds a degree from Howard Payne University and is actively working toward a master’s degree in curriculum and instruction. Married with four children, Christine teaches 6th grade reading in Brownwood and has been working in education at various levels for the past 14 years. Her husband, Jeremy, owns a local company that specializes in web design, custom computer builds, and on-location repair called DreamSoft Design at www.dreamsoftdesign.com. Christine welcomes your questions and comments and would love to hear from you!
