Last week, Kiera, Aaron and I went to a local Mexican restaurant for dinner. As we were seated, Kiera spied the avocados sitting on a cart. “That’s what I want to eat,” she said pointing at the avocados.
Aaron and I laughed, thinking that she was just being silly. After we were seated, I opened my menu and asked Kiera the standard question, “What do you want to eat, baby?”
A long-suffering sigh came from my sweet child. I turned to make sure that a teenager had not suddenly replaced my lovable five-year-old.
“I told y’all. I want avocados,” she declared, jutting her chin out in defiance.
Making sure she was not looking, I crossed my eyes at her. “Honey, you cannot just eat avocados.”
“Fine,” she huffed. “I will eat fries…fries and avocados. I can put the avocados on my French fries.”
I refrained from crossing my eyes again and glanced to Aaron. He rubbed a hand across his face and laid his menu down knowing that it would be a few minutes before we were able to order.After several minutes of discussion, Kiera finally settled on cheese enchiladas with a side of avocados.
Oh, this child.
She constantly comes up with the strangest combinations of food. For instance, one of her favorite foods to eat is Chinese. But, it’s not so much about the food as it is the soy sauce. I can almost guarantee if we left her with her own bottle of soy sauce, she would drink it.
If we are in a Chinese restaurant, then everything is fair game for soy sauce. I have watched her eat peaches that had soy sauce on them. (Shudders) See? Strange combination.
But honestly, the strangest combination of food happened on Saturday. Remember the salad with uncooked pinto beans? Well, this tops it.
Aaron was outside, working on his pickup and I was in the shower. Kiera came busting in the bathroom. “Hey, Mommy? Guess what?”
“What, baby?” I responded as I peeked my head around the shower curtain.
“I’m making Daddy a snack,” she answered happily.
“Oh! That sounds nice. What kind of snack?” I asked.
“Well, it’s kind of like pizza…but with mustard,” she replied. “Do you think Daddy will like it?”
Knowing that she could not see me through the shower curtain, I smiled broadly and threw my husband under the bus. “Oh, yes, baby! I think he would like it.”
“But, no knives and no oven,” I warned just to be on the safe side.
“I know,” she replied before bounding out of the bathroom and back to the kitchen.
I hurried through my shower and dressed quickly. I had several errands to run in town and I was also anxious to see Kiera’s latest creation. I thought if I hurried she wouldn’t be tempted to make a snack for me as well.
As I stepped into the living room, Kiera met me with two plates. Yup. You read correctly. Two plates. “Mommy, I made a snack for you too,” she said as she smiled proudly up at me.
That’s what I get for throwing Aaron under the bus.
I glanced down at the paper plates that held her latest creation. “Ohhh…wow,” I said. “This looks amazing.”
She beamed up at me as I studied the contents of the dish. I’m thinking it might be a delicacy…somewhere. On the plate was a sliced banana covered in shredded cheese and slices of turkey pepperoni. As I stared at the plate, the smell of hot bananas wafted up to my nose. I realized that she had microwaved the entire dish to melt the cheese over the banana.
“Let’s take Daddy’s plate to him!” she said excitedly as she bee-lined for the front door.
Walking outside, Kiera quickly took the plate she carried to Aaron and presented it to him. I watched his face as he glanced at the dish.
“Kiera made us a snack,” I said to Aaron, who correctly understood the translation that meant “doesn’t it look amazing?”
“Wow, honey. This looks yummy.” He smiled down at Kiera. And bless my husband’s heart; he did what I could not stomach to do. He picked up his fork, scooped up a small bite and ate it.
“That was so good, Kiera,” he praised her as he handed the plate back over. “But, I am still so full from breakfast.”
“That’s ok,” she grinned at him and asked. “Can I eat it?”
Aaron looked at me over her head and I shrugged my shoulders in response, “Sure, baby.”
Smiling she walked back in the house, sat in Aaron’s recliner and proceeded to eat part of her dish, which she declared “really good.”
I think for her birthday we will buy her a children’s cookbook. Who knows? Maybe she is a future chef and it will be her signature dish. What I do know is, I the smell of microwaved bananas, cheese and pepperoni will not be a future air freshener scent.
Rowonna McNeely is a graphic artist for Willie’s T’s Screenprint & Embroidery. She is a mother of a five-year-old girl and step mother of two adult girls. Her crazy life includes a dog, Sloane and psychotic cat, Gracie. Both females. She is married to her prince, who is outnumbered by the opposite gender.
